I live in my ass

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A doctor writing under the pen name Mona Moore wrote that doctors have retrieved a "inch long and 8-inch wide salami" from a patient's rectum, among other surprisingly large objects such as bedposts, doorknobs, glass bottles, aluminum tubes, and a inch-long live eel. Scientists have tried to assess just how roomy the rectum can get, ostensibly not because of what they do in their time off but rather to understand the conditions that can lead to incontinence. What will likely happen if he attempts to use his mobile mini-storage: Your friend could purposely stretch his rectum. But that's misleading: The rectum is designed to hold varying amounts of fecal matter, so the tissue is stretchy. Push the rectum too far, or introduce too much pressure into the rectal cavity, and you can perforate the tissue. It's spacious, it's not immediately obvious to law enforcement, and putting things there isn't altogether unpleasant, if the recreational enthusiasts are to be believed.

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